Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse in terms on Hollywood and their ability to milk just about anything for a sequel... I bring you this list of movies that are scheduled for release in the next few years. *shudder*
Jurassic Park 4: Yes... as if
the third movie in this franchise wasn't awful enough. It looks like
they managed to secure most of the original cast, though. I wonder if
Dr. Grant will be able to beat off those dinos with his Zimmer Frame.
Jones 5: I see this one will also star Harrison Ford. I have a title
suggestion. Indiana Jones and the Aging Action Hero.
Austin Powers 4: Ok... what? I bet they are going to make Austin travel into the future this time around. Watch this space!
Sequel: This was easily one of the worst movies I have ever seen and
they want to make a sequel??? Why would they do this? Who actually
thinks this one is a good idea?
Get Smart 2: I didn't even finish watching the first film. Steve Carrell is a moron. Anne Hathaway could do so much better.
2: I can guess the plot of this one! Something evil will stand in the
way of Amy Adams and McDreamy's perfect marriage! But, never fear, good
will conquer over evil.
Zoolander 2: Head. Desk. Head.
Desk. Head. Desk. The original movie is TOO OLD to have a sequel! Ben
Stiller is TOO OLD to be a male model.
Top Gun 2: OH MY
GAWD... I get to see Maverick again? Surely my eyes deceive me. Or not.
I didn't think they would ever touch this one. I was wrong. What is
next, Cocktail? I see America watching the fabulous sequels I make...
Jones' Baby: This one sounds fascinating. I can't wait to see Bridget
moan about being fat and dumpy during her pregnancy.
And there you have it. Be afraid, be very, very afraid...